The multiple personalities of Edward Cullen
by KitterKatDreams
Summary: Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? I wrote a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia is you, she's me. She loves fanfic.
1. Elevator gang bang

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? How would you interact with all those Edwards that you know and love? Well, I decided to write a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia represents your typical female fanfic lover. Maybe she's you. Maybe's she's me. Whoever is she is; she just so happens to find herself stuck between Edward and _a_ _hard place._ The only problem is; Olivia only sees Edward at night, in bed. You're probably thinking; WHAT? How is that a problem? Well, the thing is; she's always unconscious…

The following characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" and recreated for the following author's personal pleasure. They are not created by me. I'm turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters.

I strongly urge you to read the following fics to get the full appreciation of my Edward character references.

**Master of the Universe****(Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon**

**Million Dollar Baby****(Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar**

**Clipped Wings & Inked Armor****(Tattward) – hunterhunting**

**Olivia – a fictional female character representing your typical fanfic lover**

**Jake – Olivia's ever-sleeping husband**

**Chapter 1: Elevator gang bang**

My body is pressed up against the wall of a glass elevator, knuckles turning white as I grip hard onto the railing feeling my knees going weak, aware of the quick rise and fall of my chest as I'm panting with liquid hot desire. Jeez, how can I compose myself when standing across from me is Edward Cullen – aka Fifty Shades of "Master of the Universe" – and he's leering at me, chin tucked into his chest, eyes looking up at me through his lashes with what can only be described as a panty meltin' sex face. He's looking at me like I'm something to eat. And I bite my bottom lip in nervous anticipation. Good god, I've never wanted to be eaten so badly in my life.

In my lusty haze I hear Edward mutter; "Olivia, don't burn my bacon."

My head whips around looking for someone else in the elevator. "Huh? Wait…Fifty, that's not your line – that's ColossalCockward's line of "Million Dollar Baby!" You don't know this; but he was doing really dirty things to me while I was cooking him bacon that one morning when I was still acting as his sex slave. I ended up burning his bacon but he didn't seem to mind too much."

Fifty's sex face slowly morphs into rage face. Uh oh – he's pissed! Shit, now I really fear a flogging. My inner goddess pulls the covers over her head and begins to pray.

"Fuck Kitten, are you ok? Look Olivia, I know you're eight shades of fucked up right now, but I really just want to fuck you on the hood of my car. I just fucking need you, ok?"

WHAT? My head snaps up as my eyes search the ceiling and then back to the floor.

"Tattward from "Clipped Wings & Inked Armor" , is that you? Where the hell did you come from? And by the way, I fucking need you too."

I feel the prickles on the back of my neck as I slowly raise my eyes from the floor, looking up at my audience. Through the mirror clad elevator walls, I see that I'm suddenly surrounded by a sea of Edward reflections staring back at me. There's sexy but mad as hell Fifty. Then there's my cocky little Cockward, licking his lips as his eyes scan the length of my body. And finally, there's my emotional lover, Tattward, pressing his body flesh to mine so I can feel his um…you know. Jeez, he never cares who's watching!

Not gonna lie; a platoon of Armyward might sound hot – but it's more intimidating than Fifty's Red Room of Pain.

WHATTHEFUCK! Why are all my Edwards in the same goddamn elevator? As Tattward slowly starts to grind against my hip, both Fifty and Cockward take a slow, methodical step toward me. One looks like a sex-face murderer, the other like a sex-face playboy as he loosens his tie upon his advance. Oh shit…how am I going to handle all three at once? Panic creeps up my throat and I begin to feel a heady mix of fear, guilt, lust, and fucking confusion.

The next thing I know I shoot forward like a rocket in my bed, panting and all clammy skinned. I push my bangs out of my eyes and look over in the dark and see my husband sleeping like a baby at my side. He lets out a sleepy fart and then I'm abruptly grounded back into reality.

Good god, what is all this FanFiction reading doing to me? I think I'm literally going crazy. As I sink back into bed and stare at the ceiling I ponder that question that's been lurking somewhere at the back of my brain for a couple weeks now…

How many freaking Edwards are too many? Maybe I should take a break from FanFiction and, I dunno, read a real book or something.

After a good long minute I flip to my side and face my husband. I scan his face and then move down to his chest and shoulders where my eyes linger. I wonder what he'd look like with a sexy tattoo on his chest. And now I'm thinking about making him bacon in the morning. Hmm…who knew bacon could be such an aphrodisiac? Before I flip to my back again I lean in and whisper_; Goodnight my Fifty -_ feeling totally retarded and glad I have no audience.

As I doze off back into Armyward I answer my own question…

Nah, you can never have too many Edwards.

*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

**This is the first of many dreams to come for yours truly…stay tuned.**


	2. No pain, no gain

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? How would you interact with all those Edwards that you know and love? Well, I decided to write a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia represents your typical female fanfic lover. Maybe she's you. Maybe's she's me. Whoever is she is; she just so happens to find herself stuck between Edward and _a_ _hard place._ The only problem is; Olivia only sees Edward at night, in bed. You're probably thinking; WHAT? How is that a problem? Well, the thing is; she's always unconscious…

The following characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" and recreated for the following author's personal pleasure. They are not created by me. I'm turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters.

I strongly urge you to read the following fics to get the full appreciation of my Edward character references.

**Master of the Universe****(Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon**

**Million Dollar Baby****(Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar**

**Clipped Wings & Inked Armor****(Tattward) – hunterhunting**

**Olivia – a fictional female character representing your typical fanfic lover**

**Jake – Olivia's ever-sleeping husband**

**Chapter 2: No pain, no gain**

I really want a repeat of that Armyward dream I had last night where my three fanfiction Edwards – Fifty, Cockward, and Tattward – all converged on me in that glass elevator and had their way with me. Well, OK, so they never had a chance to have their way with me because I had a freaking panic attack and woke up mid-pre-fuck. Gah, why does that happen when you're about to get laid in your dream?

So tonight, I lay in bed with my iTouch and read an orgasmic chapter of **Clipped Wings & Inked Armor** where Tattward bangs Bella on the hood of his car. Ya, I'm hoping that this provides a little inspiration for my sub-conscious to go to town in my sleep.

It doesn't.

I wake up to the annoying urge to pee and realize that I was having a nightmare about being preggo with triplets in which I was finding out the sex of the babies from the evening news on TV. Three boys it is! Oh god, I wanted to dream about THREE EDWARDS not three babies that will take me away from my Edwards! Hmph!

I peed and went back to bed all pissy about my sub-conscious being a mega bitch and screwing with my fantasy. As I drifted back to sleep I thought about what it would be like to actually have triplets…Edward's triplets…

"Can you see anything, baby?" Edward purrs into my ear. I touch my eyes to feel the blind fold he's just placed over them and feel a surge of anxiety as I'm not exactly sure how severe my flogging is going to be since he's just found out about my relationships with Cockward and Tattward. Oh Fifty, please go easy on my booty, I silently beg to him. I'm not sure I'm gonna find this as hot in person as it is to read about it.

I feel him lay a soft kiss on my collarbone, which tingles the lady bits, and mutter something about me being a cheating whore. OH MUTHER, this is going to suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

And just then I feel it – "FUCK!" I cry out. Oh my god he just spanked my ass really hard with his bare hand! Oh Lord, of all the scenes to dream about, I'm dreaming about getting my ass whooped by Fifty. DAMN IT! So as to soften the blow, he sensually rubs my bare ass cheek in wide circles because his hand print is pretty big on my behind – not because my ass is wide. Well maybe it is a little.

Fearing the impending second ass slap, I suddenly blurt out in a rapid fire plea; "Edward PLEASE, I don't want you to hit me again! I swear I'll stop cheating. I'm yours, all yours! Baby, untie me. I want you to make love to me in this godforsaken Red Room of Pain to the music of Roberta Flak. I really loved when you did that to Bella in **"Master of the Universe." ***sighs*

I hear him step back and breathe in through his nose and exhale loudly. "I don't make love Olivia. I fuck." He practically seethes these words. OH FUCK. He's PISSED that not only have I cheated on him, but I've now defied him in his playroom.

It's quite for a moment, and then I feel his hand reach behind my head undoing the cotton knot of the handkerchief, which quickly falls away. As I blink my eyes a couple of times to readjust to the light I realize I'm staring at Tattward as he's hard at work on a tattoo on my hip. He's concentrating and he looks extremely sexy. As I study his face and wonder where the hell Fifty and his Red Room of Pain went, he glances up at me and smiles this really panty meltin' smile. I give him a shy smile back and tentatively reach up to run my fingers through his tousled sex hair. Getting the hint, Tattward sits up and slowly removes his rubber gloves as he holds my gaze. Oh god, fire just entrenched my entire body and I suddenly feel like the air is too hot and thick to breathe. I need water.

"How do you feel Kitten? Are you in pain?" He cocks his head to one side willing me to say no.

"No, I'm…I'm fine – no pain at all," I manage to stutter out with an embarrassing sense of urgency. Knowing how annoyingly considerate Tattward is I don't want him withholding countertop sex from me because he thinks my fresh tat will burn like fire up against his grinding hips.

Well, to be honest; I really could care less about my own pain. Ya, I'm like Bella like that: so selfless. I just want Edward's long fingers on me. Oh and his mouth too. Tattward puts his hands on my waist and lifts me out of the tattoo chair, making me feel like a tiny 10 pounder, and places me in front of the full length mirror, presumably so I can see my tat. He's standing behind me looking at me in the mirror as his hands slip underneath my shirt and start traveling north. His breath is hot on my neck as he whispers; "Do you have any fucking idea what I'm going to do to you right now, Kitten?" His quiet threat sends chills up my spine and under his fingers as I drop my head back onto his shoulder and close my eyes as desire pools my brain and makes me lightheaded. After a moment I lift my head forward and open my eyes to meet his in the mirror.

HUH? Where the hell am I? I feel a draft and look down to see that I'm wearing a skimpy bikini and high heels. I cross my arms feeling the need to cover up and then I focus on the dark figure in front of me. Thankfully, a moment later the lights flip on and I see Colossal Cockward sitting in a chair in front of me, legs crossed man-style, sunk back in his seat wearing a black suit vest and trousers with the sleeves of his white shirt rolled up - taking a final drag of his cigarette. Hot damn this playboy is dead sexy. I eye fuck him as he lifts himself out of his chair and saunters over to where I'm standing.

I'm feeling the lady bits tingle yet again as he reaches a hand toward my face and places a strand of hair behind my ear. I watch his lips curve up into a sexy half smile and I try to decipher what he's going to do next. Maybe he'll grab me and throw me down on the couch and make me the happiest woman alive? Or, he could lift me over his shoulder and carry me to the Jacuzzi for a steamy bath? I get freaking ecstatic thinking that THIS Edward – my Cockward – is going to finally close the deal. Jeez, who locked up and threw away the key on Fifty and Tattward's chastity belts?

"Well Olivia, now that you're here, let me see what you're worth…" Cockward's words cast a cold shiver throughout my body as I know what he wants me to do. And then he says it…

"Get on your knees."

Oh mutherfuck! Really? Is this even fair? So far, I've had an ass whoopin' from Fifty; a painful tat from Tattward, and now an introductory blowie for Cockward before I've even had a chance to say "hi"? This is so humiliating by the way. As I sink to my knees I close my eyes praying for the BJ god to be still some words of encouragement into my brain at this moment.

I open my eyes to see his massive bulge underneath his trousers staring back at me and I reach for his belt buckle. Suddenly I hear moaning and my head snaps up to the direction of Edward's face as I'm seriously stunned that he's already getting off before I've even touched him! Jeez, if that's not a confidence booster, I don't know what is! There is a god!

"Jake, Jake – wake up!" I shake my husband's shoulder trying to wake him as he's having a bad dream and moaning like a scaredy cat in his sleep. The moaning subsides and he simply rolls over and begins to lightly snore. I drop back into the bed and fluff my pillow angrily behind my head.

Jake, I know you're my husband, but can't a girl just dream about other men uninterrupted for one night, or all nights for that matter? I think this to myself as I silently brood over my rude awakening.

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to will Cockward back. The next thing I recall in my dream is the sound of three squealing babies…


	3. In bed with Edward, finally

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? How would you interact with all those Edwards that you know and love? Well, I decided to write a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia represents your typical female fanfic lover. Maybe she's you. Maybe's she's me. Whoever is she is; she just so happens to find herself stuck between Edward and _a_ _hard place._ The only problem is; Olivia only sees Edward at night, in bed. You're probably thinking; WHAT? How is that a problem? Well, the thing is; she's always unconscious…

The following characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" and recreated for the following author's personal pleasure. They are not created by me. I'm turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters.

I strongly urge you to read the following fics to get the full appreciation of my Edward character references.

**Master of the Universe****(Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon**

**Million Dollar Baby****(Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar**

**Clipped Wings & Inked Armor****(Tattward) – hunterhunting**

**Olivia – a fictional female character representing your typical fanfic lover**

**Jake – Olivia's ever-sleeping husband**

**Chapter 3: In bed with Edward, finally**

My eyes snap open in a flash and I'm panting as the fleeting details of a nightmare about breastfeeding three triplet baby boys AT THE SAME TIME quickly escapes my memory. Oh my, I think God is trying to tell me something – he wants me to have three boys someday. Well, for now, I'll settle for my three FanFiction Edwards; Fifty, Cockward, and Tattward. Ugh, I feel clammy and I'm burning up! Jeez, who turned the heat on? But then I realize that Jake has me pulled into one serious spooning position and his rock hard midsection tells me that he's probably having a wet dream since it's 3am. I manage to roll over despite his vice grip on my waist and I drag my hands over his muscular arms as I position myself facing him.

W-W-WAIT! Jake is a big guy, but he's not _this_ defined. Has he been working out more? My fingers move to his face and line the length of his strong jaw toward his chin and…and…wait – what the hell is this? I feel cold hard steel under my thumb as it grazes his bottom lip. Huh? Is that a lip ring? Jake doesn't have a lip ring! What is going on? I reach up and run my hand through his hair and once again am jolted by the odd texture under my fingers. Jake's hair normally feels stiff, spiky, and short, but this hair is thick and feels wavy and chaotic – and what are these, _sideburns?_ Just then Jake flexes his hips forward meeting mine and I'm once again reminded of the bulge between us.

"Mmm…well hello Kitten," purred the dark figure gripping me tight, that I now realize is not my husband.

WHAT! Tattward? How could this be?

"Edward, is that you?" I whispered, feeling totally retarded because how in the hell could Edward be lying in my freaking bed in the Cali burbs?

"Well who the fuck else would it be Olivia? I thought I was the only one that's ever been in this bed with you. You're mine, remember?" He nuzzles his nose in my hair and murmurs "All mine."

Goosebumps cover the entire length of my body as I wiggle closer to him pressing my hips into his, now moving in some kind of unison. Are we dry humping? God it feels incredible. I could seriously do this for hours, but I do hope we move to first base.

"All yours" I answer back, feeling totally guilty because I'm married and all. At that moment the classic line enters my head: Jake – _you snooze you lose!_ Oh well, since I'm here, I might as well oblige myself, so I brush my lips against his temple. Edward pulls his face back up to meet mine, practically nose to nose and he sighs slowly. At this moment I'm suddenly nervous that Edward is going to kiss me. I mean, it's not like I don't want him to, but for realz, I do have a wedding ring on. I mean, I actually don't because I don't sleep with it, but still. It's not like it doesn't count when it's not there!

"Edward, um…this is really awkward because I really, REALLY want you to touch me right now, but um…I'm kind of married."

I feel Edward scoot back creating an unpleasant space between our bodies. "You're fucking married? Why the fuck didn't you tell me? We've spent all these nights together and you didn't think that would be something that I should fucking know?" My eyes have adjusted to the darkness now and I can see Edward's features turn into a scowl.

"I don't know Edward…I…I guess I didn't think it was important or something", I rambled out knowing how lame I sounded. "You didn't think it was important? Olivia, I'm fucking in love with you."

WHAT! Oh god, this is everything I ever wanted to hear from Tattward, but I knew it was impossible. I mean, how could he love me? I'm just a desperate housewife reading FanFiction! Somehow I assumed this beautiful and dangerous looking man covered in tattoos, piercings, and God's gifts would choose someone, I don't know, more angsty and ratty hot like Bella. Why me? And never mind all that – what about Jake? He's sleeping in some layer of reality right now clueless to the fact that his wife is dry humping her tattooed fantasy. Suddenly I feel like I'm right smack in the middle of that Leonardo DiCaprio movie "Inception" where I can't tell whether I'm dreaming or if this is reality. And if I'm dreaming, I secretly don't want to wake up. I choose this reality Leo, so fuck off.

_Oh the guilt!_

"Edward, I can't. I want to, but I can't. I'm going to need you to get out of my bed." I say this meekly as if I don't believe my own words. Besides, our hips have already found each other again and they're once again moving in unison. We're having an erotic fight right now in which he's just told me he loves me and I've told him to get out, yet his rock hard cock is pressed into my throbbing kitty with only a pair of panties and boxer briefs between us. God, fighting with Edward is such a fucking turn on.

At this moment I decide that if I'm dreaming it's harmless, so I'm allowed to indulge, right? I mean, it's the only time I can, I reason with myself.

"Olivia, I know you love me too. It's more than this…" Edward breathes, as his hand moves down my side toward my moving hip and his lips find my neck, leaving a trail of soft kisses up to my jaw.

Oh fuck it. My inner goddess just did a triple back flip landing on the bed with her legs splayed wide open.

My fingers search for Edward's lips in the dark and I lean in slowly, closing my eyes and feeling the butterflies about to literally burst out of my stomach, and finally – gloriously – they find placement on his soft, full lips. OH GOD!

Suddenly I hear a muffled "What are you doing?" under my lips and I pull away feeling freaked out that I was too forward and Tattward was going to kick me out of MY bed!

"Liv, it's 3am, I'm sleeping!" Jake whines as he rubs his eyes.

"Um…sorry, I just had the urge to give you a 'lil kiss. I think I was having a hot sex dream about you," I chuckle guiltily.

"Well, I'm too tired. Let's do it tomorrow night. Go to sleep." Jake rolls over and immediately falls into a sleepy breathing pattern. I lay there in bed, propped up on both of my elbows as I'm bewildered at how real that dream of Tattward was. It was fucking amazing, ohmygod. That's it, I'm a horrible person.

I sink back down in bed and turn onto my side trying to remember every detail of Tattward; the way he felt under my fingers, the sound of his voice, the feel of his form pressed to mine. Oh lord, I must be freaking crazy and mucho desperado to have so many dreams about my Edwards, but this one didn't even include Fifty and Cockward! I guess right now I belong to Tattward until I finish reading **"Clipped Wings & Inked Armor."** I'll finish it soon, I think to myself as sleep begins to overtake my thoughts and I sink back into unconsciousness.

"You're mine, Olivia. All fucking mine," Edward breaths into my mouth as his lips form to mine, and his tongue sweeps across my bottom lip…


	4. Edward, the stripper?

Do you ever wonder what it would be like to step into Twilight FanFiction and give Bella the boot? How would you interact with all those Edwards that you know and love? Well, I decided to write a mini fanfic using my favorite fanfic Edward characters and a fictional character named Olivia. Olivia represents your typical female fanfic lover. Maybe she's you. Maybe's she's me. Whoever is she is; she just so happens to find herself stuck between Edward and _a_ _hard place._ The only problem is; Olivia only sees Edward at night, in bed. You're probably thinking; WHAT? How is that a problem? Well, the thing is; she's always unconscious…

The following characters were originally adapted from Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" and recreated for the following author's personal pleasure. They are not created by me. I'm turning FanFiction on its head and doing FanFiction based on FanFiction characters.

I strongly urge you to read the following fics to get the full appreciation of my Edward character references.

**Master of the Universe****(Fifty) – SnowQueens Icedragon**

**Million Dollar Baby****(Colossal Cockward) – clpsuperstar**

**Clipped Wings & Inked Armor****(Tattward) – hunterhunting**

**Olivia – a fictional female character representing your typical fanfic lover**

**Jake – Olivia's ever-sleeping husband**

**Chapter 4: Edward the stripper?**

I'm lying in bed watching Edward slowly sit up and swing his legs over the edge so his feet are touching the floor. His back is to me and he raises his hands up to his face to rub the sleep from his eyes. My eyes linger down his back and they're suddenly fixated on his flexing back muscles contracting as his arms tighten at his sides and his fingers rub hard circles into his face. I feel myself falling into a trance, a sleepy haze, as I appreciate his glorious physique. The center line of his back curves as his shoulders turn and his head swings around in my direction. Edward appraises my form lying barely covered by red satin sheets and nothing else, and a slow smile spreads across his face.

"Good morning baby," he mutters in a groggy tone.

My lady bits tingle when the word "baby" crosses his lips. Oh god, I get to be Edward's _baby!_

"Mmm…morning Edward," I practically moan and smile back, stretching my legs out and pointing my toes, all giddy like I'm literally living in heaven and I'm still alive. "Last night was…um…." Words fail me as I'm a little shy and embarrassed to openly compliment his sexual prowess. There should be no modesty left here anyway. Just thinking about the positions he had me in last night make me shutter in sheer mortification. Jeez, I had no idea I was so bendy!

"One of the best nights of my life…" he finishes my sentence. "You beguile me, Olivia."

OMG! I seriously can't believe I get to lay here this close to Fifty in his freagin' birthday suit and discuss how our wall, floor, bed, shower, sink sex was the best night of his – _our life._ My inner Goddess just sprang up stark naked, and sashayed across the bedroom floor like it was a catwalk, waving to the cheering crowd.

"Oh god Edward, nothing compares to last night….to you."

His smile widens as he fully turns his body and places his hands on either side of my head and lowers himself down over me, hovering, so that we're nose to nose and I feel his hot breathe fan across my face. "Baby, there's no place I'd rather be than inside you," be breathes, green eyes staring into mine. I suck in a deep, unsteady breathe as lust and love and desire mix together like a heady cocktail, making me feel punch drunk. He leans in slowly and places a soft, open mouthed kiss on my lips and I tilt my head to the side to give him better access, parting my lips; inviting his tongue. He pulls away before the kiss deepens and he smiles a wicked smile.

"I want to baby, but I have to get in the shower - early morning meeting." He smiles down at me and winks before rising up and sauntering towards the bathroom naked as a jay bird.

"Ahhh! Edward, you TEASE!" I whine to him as I cross my legs and squeeze 'em shut, attempting to put out the fire. He turns and smirks at me. Oh good grief – full frontal. I'm a lucky fucking bitch and I know it. Then, his arm reaches over to his dresser and presses a button on his iPod docking station with speakers. A slow song starts to play with speaking lyrics at the start and the sound is soothing. I watch in stunned amazement as Fifty moves his arms up in front of his chest, fisting his hands, moving to the music that's suddenly picked up in rhythm and he's now swaying his hips on beat with the drums. He watches me watch him as he rolls his hips, tipping his head back and closing his eyes as if he's lost in the music – dancing. Dancing for me? What the hell? This is unexpected and totally out of character for my Fifty, but goddamn its sexy as hell.

"Turn that off Liv!" I feel nudging at my back as I'm abruptly awakened to the sound of my alarm clock blaring in my ear and Jake nagging me to hit the snooze button. My head snaps up – shit, it's 6am. I slap the snooze button and growl at it, wishing it a slow and painful death.

SHIT! Fifty, COME BACK! The memory of Edward moving for me to that music is my undoing. I rip open the top drawer of my night stand and dig in for old faithful. Where is that fucker? Did the cleaning lady move it again? UGH! I exhale loudly, exasperated. There's no way I'm turning to Jake to relive the tension. He'll just be a distraction. Sleep eventually wears off and I realize I have to get in the shower and go to work in an hour. MutherFUCK! Real life is such a bitch. I want Fifty back. Hell, Fifty was about to become Stripperward and it was all for ME. MUTHERFUCK!

As I'm blow drying my hair I'm replaying my real-as-ever dream with Fifty, committing every detail to memory. But then the image of him dancing naked all club style, kind of like a stripper invokes an involuntary laugh as I consider the absurdity of it. Then it hits me. HA! I started a new fanfiction story last night called "The Red Line." Edward is a stripper. Hm… was Fifty morphing into Stripperward? Oh lord; what in the world does Stripperward have in store for me? I feel a pang of excitement as I picture lap dances from Edward.

I'm abruptly pulled from my fantasy as Jake comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist as I'm holding the blow dryer and round brush over my head. "Good morning pretty girl", he makes eye contact with me in the mirror as he leans down and kisses my shoulder. "Hey babe", I smile at his reflection, feeling like such a douche bag mind-cheating wife. "Call in sick today…" he presses his hips into my ass, sufficiently pressing my hip bones into the bathroom counter. A warm chill covers my neck and shoots down throughout my body as his fingers pulls at the collar of my shirt and his lips press to the back of my neck.

"Jeez, what's gotten into you Jake?" I fake laugh, puzzled by his advances at this time of the day as I'm clearly in the middle of doing my hair. It's not like I've built in leisure time in my morning routine before work.

"You've been so horny in the middle of the night babe," his voice is husky between kisses that he's now trailing up my neck, reaching my jaw. I feel the warmth between my legs as this is turning me on, despite my Edward fantasy that I was in the midst of only seconds ago. His hips press harder into my backside, which causes yummy friction between me and the counter top in just the right spot. Jake's hand slides up from my hip, grazing my breasts and clasps the front of my neck and his fingers move my chin in the direction of his face.

"What have I been doing", I question him, all breathy. His other hand moves up my front and cups my breast, squeezing lightly, and he replies; "You've been rubbing my dick in your sleep." And with that, his lips crush mine and I manage to turn to face him as he lifts me in one quick movement to sit on the counter top. He pushes my legs upon with his hands, making room for him to press into my kitty with his bulging dick underneath his black suit trousers. My fingers tangle into his short hair, and I momentarily miss Edward's – and then I'm lost. Edward. Jake. What-the-fuck-ever, I just need penetration after all these wet dreams. Good god, fanfiction has turned me into a mutherfucking hornball. And it seems like Jake likes it.

On the way into work I devour chapter two of "The Red Line" and sink my teeth further into Stripperward. Jeez, Fifty! Cockward! Tattward! And now Stripperward? My dreams are about to get even more interesting…


End file.
